At 41 years old, like many, I have questioned the roads that I have chosen. I have also questioned some of the experiences that I have endured. The problem being that most people have not had to question an insane idea that crosses the boundaries between imagination and physical being. But, remaining is to whom to you go to for the answers to such questions?

     The idea of the alien abduction experience, for my self, is in itself is mind boggling, yet it is an answer to the question that I have to seriously consider. There are so many experiences in my life that "fit" the abduction experience, yet the whole idea of alien abduction is absolutely ludicrous. I don't consder myself to be "crazy" by any stretch of the imagination. I am certainly open and a "free spirit", if you will and I consider all things possible that one can imagine. Human history proves this to be true. Yet, there are many things such as the abduction experience that are so taboo in our society as a whole that it must be questioned at every facet. It has to be looked at from an unbiased point of view, to weed out the non truths.

     Many reputable people have performed serious studies into the alien abduction experience, such as the late Dr. John Mack of Harvard. The biggest hurdle into this subject is the lack of physical evidence for scientific study, yet, physical evidence does exist. There have been many times that I have awoken in the mornings and have had unusual markings or bruises that I wasn't able to explain. These are physical trace evidences, and there are a plethora of such documented cases such as mine that go unheaded by main stream science because of the possible source of the incident, which brings me to the question of the studies such as dream study, or even religion.

     It is accepted world wide by everyone on the planet that we all dream. It is said that we all dream continuosly throughout the night, even if we don't remember it, yet there is no physical evidence that we dream, is there?: but we all accept the fact that we dream? We dream during our sleep and sometimes we day dream when we are awake, but there is no physical evidence that we dream.

      Ninety percent of the planet believe in a higher power that effectivly has an impact on our daily lives. God or Alah; there are many names for it, but the belief system is there, yet there is no physical evidence of a "God" being anywhere on the planet that I am aware, but people believe blindly.  This is neither a good thing or bad, I myself believe in god in a more agnostic capacity, but I now question is it because it is the way that society has shaped me or is it because that I used my own analytical skills to theorize that god exists?

       I have wanted to put down on "paper", some form of documentation of my experiences. This seems to be the perfect forum for it. I can write, I can analyze and possibly make some sense out of it all, and if there are people that have thoughts on my experiences, you can contact me through this web site. If  you read this and have an opinion on either side, great, this is for me.

 As a Young Child

     It is funny that some things you can remember as a child and some things you can not. I am no different, yet the things that I remember definitely were "tramatic", for the lack of a better word, such as funerals or family reunions or things that I didn't understand, including reoccuring dreams.

     One such dream, I'm guessing when I was around five years old, had me walking down a dirt road (which fits because I grew up in a rural farming community in Oklahoma). The area that I was walking in was obviously a wooded area as there were trees on both sides of the road. If you can picture it, I am waking from left to right. On my left side the landscape runs upward at a fairly steep angle and on my right, the landscape runs down at the same ange. I have a definite sense of being watched. The whole scene is colorless, not in the sense of "black and white", but of a dark "cloak" over the whole scene. I come to a place in the road where there is a wooden fence, not unlike the privacy fences that you see in neighborhoods everywhere and there is part of a board missing at the bottom of it. I bend down to look through the hole and I see looking back at me a large black eye looking back at me, and my anxiety level shoots through the roof.

     Around ten years of age which was around 1977, I have a distinct memory of waking up one morning and I"m thinking that it had to have been a Saturday morning. The air was cool and crisp but the vegitation was starting to turn green, and I had a jacket on. We lived in a very old wood frame house, which for it's age, was in pretty good shape. When you walked out in the back yard, the first thing you saw was to your right, an old 1966 Dodge Dart, the kind of car that had the push button automatic gear shift. (If you don't know what i'm talking about, its pretty useless in trying to explain it). At that time, my grandparents also drove a white, 1966 Bonneville (beautiful car) and my grandpa drove a 1966 Ford Pick up truck, which had, like stick on horse heads, on both doors. (never understood that). Also out back was an old chicken coop that my grandma and grandpa would raise chickens in. There was not alot of chickens mind you, but in the spring time we would buy a bunch of chicks and feed them for, i'm guessing about six months and then my grandma and grandpa would kill them and freeze them, or most of them as they kept a few for eggs, but I digress.

     I walk out toward the chicken coop and I notice a full moon in the morning sky. It was around 9:00 when I went outside that morning and it is not uncommon to see the full moon in the morning sky, but the odd thing was, I would look at the moon and look away and repeat this action several times, but everytime I looked at it and looked away, it seemed to get bigger. The last time that I looked at it, it was like it was right on top of me. The best way that I can describe it is, it looked as big as the ceiling that i'm looking at right now as I"m writing this, literally right on top of me.

     The next thing that I know, my grandma is yelling out the back door that lunch is ready. Now the duration of this whole event, to me was only about five minutes at best, but when I went back inside for lunch, it was 11:30.

     I guess this would be considered a "missing time" episode. This incident would be revisited in later years but for now, that is all that I will write about. It is unreasonable to me that if a person could experience such a thing and it not ever happen again. Such mental irregularities, one would reason, would happen more than once in a persons life and that one could theorize that there was a rational explanation that would explain these particular happenings. Why have I not had a "missing time" episode since?

Marriage

     At 41 years old, I have been married three times. My first marriage lasted three years, my second marriage lasted three years and I have been married to my third wife for over eight years now. In those three marriages I had one daughter from my first wife and one daughter from my third wife, but all of my wives had something in common; They all miscarried at least one child, our first. I did not, at any time except for in the recent eight years make a connection to the three, but here is what i've come up with. Here are their stories.

Wife number 1

     For arguments sake, we'll call her slut, because the name fits to a T, (O.K. I have anger issues over my first marriage). Slut and I found out we were to be parents a little over a year into our disasterous union. At the time, I did not recognize it as the distaster as it was nor was open to the idea that there were issues within our marriage that I had not recognized. With that being said, I look on my first two marriages as my fault entirely. Looking back it was my failure that I did not make it perfectly clear that after we were married, THEY COULDN'T DATE ANYMORE! There, I feel better.

     About six weeks into the pregnency, the wife and I were out visiting friends and we came home late one night. We lived in the country in a mobile home and had two dogs. Pete was a hound-mutt that stayed outside and Repeat was a poodle mix that stayed indoors. We also had two cats, indoor of course. At the time of our arrival that night, the first thing that I noticed was the absence of our welcoming party of Pete. We got out of our car and I started walking up to the trailer, whistling and calling his name. I heard a faint whimper under the trailer and after I had retrieved a flash light from the trailer, I looked under the trailer to see if Pete had been hurt.

     My first thought was that Pete had either been at it with a skunk or there were coyetes running about and he had gotten into it with one of them. Although coax as I might, I couldn't get Pete to come out from under the trailer. I saw him and he had no visible signs of being roughed up by the local wild life, but he had a definite look of fear about him. Pete did not come out from under the trailer until later the next day.      One week later, my first wife miscarried the baby.

Wife number 2

     To protect her identity we'll simply call wife number 2 "whore". (Sorry, anger issues again for not telling her she had to stop dating). Whore and I had been married for little over a year when we found out she was pregnent. (for arguments sake we'll assume it was mine). This was about the time when I bought my first computer and started learning of the joys of the internet and the multitude of information on it. Accurate or not. I had seriously started looking at this whole "abduction" experience as a serious endeavor.

      During my marriage with Whore, I had more than a few experiences that shook me up. A little over a year into our marriage, we found out we were pregnant. Very shortly after I had found out the news, I remember we went to bed and it was a Friday night. I remember it was Friday night because that was "sex" night. Yes, we had sex once a week, every Friday starting at 9:00. How sad for me, but I digress. I remember looking over at my alarm clock before I went to sleep and it read 11:05. I fell asleep and then I awoke. I had this wave of fear come over me, the likes I had not experienced ever. I could not open my eyes as hard as I tried and I couldn't move and I was having a hard time breathing. I remember laying there fighting for the longest time and I was getting exhausted. I managed to open my eyes and I was looking at the alarm clock again and it read 1:05 in the morning. I managed to fight to lift my head up to look around the room and I saw three "Greys" standing at the foot of my bed. They were standing there in a bluish light with a light fog all around them. The middle one was slightly taller than it's companions and it had on some type of "cape", but it wasn't a cape. That is the point to where the fear peaked and I started screaming and trying to crawl backward away from what I saw while still in bed.

     Of course, Whore thought I had just had a nightmare, but a week later, she miscarried. The doctors told us that a normal human fetus has 46 chromosomes and a downs syndrome child had 47. This fetus had 69 chromosomes according to the nurse.

Wife number 3

     Melissa and I have an interesting story. One that she tells more eloquently than I ever could. We have went through a lot in our relationship. She has lost her father and I have lost my mother. Her grandfather passed away earlier this year. Earlier on in our relationship we broke up for a year, in which I'll talk about more experiences related to it, but most importantly, she has had, more than one miscarriage.

     Memories of incidence